Do you want to be attracting people into your life? Man is a unique social being that loves to interact with his immediate environment. The importance of this is revealed in a survey conducted by health insurer Cigna. The research found that loneliness has the same impact on the mortality rate as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, making it even more dangerous than obesity.
Douglas Nemecek, Cigna’s chief medical officer for behavioral health, further stated that 54% of the respondents said they feel no one knows them well, while 40% reported they feel their relationships aren’t meaningful. Loneliness isn’t an absence of people but the consciousness of not having amazing people who bring out the best.
Despite the massive increase of social media users in recent years, a recent survey by the UK mental health foundation shows that 10% of people often feel lonely, a figure that suggests people are becoming more socially isolated than ever. Dr. Douglas Nemecek observes that this fact has reached an epidemic proportion. It could be that you aren’t just looking for people to be in your life. You may be tired of people who add no value and want a way of attracting wonderful people into your life.
Being raised by her grandmother in Arkansas, she was raped by her mother’s boyfriend at the age of seven. When she spoke out, her mother’s boyfriend was killed. She felt her voice had killed him. She went mute for five years and didn’t want people in her life. Speaking about her moments, Maya Angelou said, “Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” You may be one of many people who have experienced some highly irrational behavior from other people that made you shut yourself to people around you.
It is important to be deliberate about the people around you. There are people you can’t change, your family especially. However, you can deliberately make efforts that can help in attracting people into your life.
Here are some simple steps to attract amazing people in your life and become immune to social isolation.
1. Challenge yourself to be better
Harriet Tubman wasn’t a good-looking woman because of her slavery experience. In addition, she could neither read nor write. Tubman wasn’t a good communicator either; she had earlier sustained a head injury that could make her fall asleep in the middle of a conversation. Every time she smiled, the gaps within her teeth were obvious, following an injury she had sustained earlier. However, what Harriet Tubman lacked in education and appearance, she made up for it in her policies and character. She was great at attracting people. She was sought out by amazing figures of her generation like Missus Lincoln, Frederick Douglas and William Seward.
More than any other factor, nothing aids in attracting amazing people to you more than success. It is a plane that drops you among the people you’ve always desired and the people you need. Attracting amazing people into your life requires focus and commitment. You have to be the person you want to attract; no one wants to associate with people who add no value. Keep your focus, spend time improving yourself, and the magnetic force of success will attract amazing people to you. The desire for values outweighs any other parameter.
Raise the bar on every relationship, evaluate its effect on you, treasure the strengths of people you meet, let go of the people who wish to leave your life. Change your choices and change your life if you’re surrounded by people who add no values. Birds of a feather still flock together; you have more similarities with them than your differences. Be a better version of yourself, and you’ll find yourself attracting amazing people to your life. This isn’t about changing yourself just to suit other people. It’s rather to become a better and well-accomplished person.
2. Declare your intentions!
No one knew what inspired the clergyman called Dr. Frank Gunsaulus to announce in the newspapers that he would preach a sermon the following Sunday morning entitled “What I would do if I Had a Million Dollars.” The announcement caught the eye of Philip D. Armour, a wealthy businessman who decided he would hear the sermon.
In his sermon, Dr. Gunsaulus pictured a great school of technology where young people would be taught practical knowledge of science and technology. After the sermon, Philip Armour fell in love with the plan and requested the young preacher to come to his office the next day for the million dollars. The decision gave birth to the Armour Institute of Technology, which the young preacher presided over for the next 27 years.
A statement of purpose delivered at the right time has the capacity of attracting people into our lives. Opportunities often present themselves in various options. And sometimes, in attracting people, one needs to be precise and take opportunities. People with great goals who also possess the ability to communicate effectively are often surrounded by amazing people who aid their dreams.
Communicate your purpose when the right opportunities present themselves, share your ideas and discoveries. It has proven to be effective in attracting amazing people into others’ lives more than ever.
3. Improve your communication
“Of all the talents bestowed upon men, none is so precious as the gift of oratory. He who enjoys it wields a power more durable than that of a king. He is an independent force in the world.” Who else could have emphasized the need for oratory and sound communication if not one who felt the pangs of rejection at an early age? Because of the rejection, Winston Churchill grew up to master the art of communication, whether to one person or a group of people. He was one of the many who changed his life and became successful at attracting the best of people by improving his communication skill through a tutor, William Bourke Cockrain.
Not much attention is often paid to communication, but nothing except success could attract amazing people to you more than a sound communication skill, whether it is to one person or a group of people. If you are so obsessed with talking about yourself, discussing your field of interest and always willing to make your opinions heard, there are chances you may not succeed in attracting the people you desire.
A good communicator understands when to listen, when to contribute your opinion, how to start a discussion with someone you’re just meeting, the terms to employ in expressing your opinions and when to stop a conversation. If you’re meeting someone for the first time, be mindful of your use of words. Show a little sense of humor; don’t make the discussion about yourself.
Try to make your content sound and interactive. Good communication attracts amazing people. You’ll do better in communicating if you understand that every expression you make is a gateway to your heart. Good communication skill gives you leverage when you engage other people. It’s an ability that can’t be ignored. A few tips to help you improve your communication skills include:
- Pay attention to timing, and don’t keep people waiting with some boring stories.
- Regularly engage in eye contact to measure the reaction and interest of the person.
- Avoid using words associated with your field or profession.
- It’s okay to display a little sense of humor but don’t make it your aim.
- Take a pause and get responses from the person. Listening is as important as talking.
- If you look forward to attracting amazing people into your life, then pay attention to your communicative skill. It’s simple, but it works.
4. Improve your appearance
“His uniform is impeccable. His boots are polished, his beard is elegant.” Hugo Chavez describes Fidel Castro as one whose appearance speaks volumes about his personality. The Cuban revolutionary wasn’t just known for his political ideologies. He has a great sense of fashion that attracts people too.
Every time you meet people outside or within your circle, before you make a sentence, there are already perceptions generated from your appearance. Whether they are consciously prepared or subconsciously generated, your appearance speaks volumes about you. You also can’t afford to downplay the importance of your look and your dressing on your self-esteem. Self-confidence is key to attracting amazing people into your lives.
You can convince yourself that you’re well-dressed even if you’re not. However, you can’t influence another person’s perception about you as they may not even afford you the luxury of defending yourself or supplying excuses.
Make a conscious attempt to always look good. It helps your confidence. This is what psychologists refer to as “enclothed cognition,” the happiness you feel from dressing better. This is not an emphasis on luxury or the accessories in vogue. It’s about being true to yourself. In attracting the people you desire, you may need to reexamine your appearance and get more confident about yourself.
There are different clothes for different occasions. Don’t strive to look different or look awkward. The odds are stacked against you that people will grant you audience. The attention you may derive in such a situation may be negative. Your self-esteem needs a boost and not a drain if you intend to attract people.
As Alicia Prince observed, “dressing in expensive clothes might give you a fleeting sense of satisfaction, real confidence is not just about the brands you wear or the look you give off. Real confidence comes with accepting your quirks and working with them. In this way, you can dress with confidence by knowing your look and playing to your strengths.” Find your best colors that look excellent on you, raise your confidence, and that may just earn you the opportunity of attracting people in your next outing.
5. Stay informed
If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads, Ralph Waldo Emerson. Books are instruments that unleash the heavens of our minds. People who read regularly have greater self-esteem and a great level of self-confidence.
A research carried out by Dr. Josie Billington at the center for research into reading, literature and society at the University of Liverpool suggests that only 58% of people read regularly. It also found that 16 million adults in the UK – a third of the UK adult population are lapsed readers – people who used to read but either rarely read now or don’t read at all.
In addition, the report found that reading for just thirty minutes a week produces greater life satisfaction, enhances social connectedness and a sense of community spirit. The report also found that reading not only produces greater understanding and empathy with others; it also gives a currency for sharing experience more meaningfully than is possible in ordinary conversation.
Reading for just thirty minutes a day means you’re 35% more likely to have a greater life experience, 57% more likely to have a greater awareness of other cultures and 21% more likely to have greater general knowledge. All of these make you more attractive to people, and most importantly, it enables you to sustain such relationships. Regular readers feel closer to their community and even to strangers than lapsed or nonreaders.
Knowledge itself has a way of attracting people to you. Everyone wants knowledge, but only a few people can bear the patience of acquiring the required knowledge. In attracting amazing people, your knowledge of history, politics, sports, arts and music and any other fields could be the magnetic force.
You need to stay informed as there’s no middle stage in learning. You’re either increasing in knowledge or decreasing, and it could be costly to be uninformed. Pay the price of knowledge. Create time out of your schedule to know what’s happening. It’s not trying to know everything; it’s about being updated. Your level of information could be the forcefield attracting people towards you.
Meditation emphasizes the activities that go on in our subconscious mind. That is, what goes on deep within you is what you manifest. Suppose you share a positive impression about the people around you. In that case, it manifests in your reactions and brings them towards your positivity. Since you are what you attract, creating a stable emotion through meditation may be a very effective way of attracting people.
Meditation allows you to connect with yourself, calm your mind and create space for thoughts. Those thoughts manifest in our actions and create a better platform for attracting amazing people.
With the increase in social isolation despite the presence of social media that allows a greater network of people, it’s important to also look inward for some answers. Can social connectedness be self-generated?
Buddhists have often recommended a practice of meditation called “loving-kindness meditation” (LKM). This practice allows people to direct compassion and wishes of well-being towards real or imagined people.
While the impact of the loving-kindness motivation in attracting people hasn’t been scientifically proven, psychologists have verified it as an effective tool in stabilizing the emotions of those who practice it. People with unstable emotions have problems keeping people close. They regularly react to stress by mood swings and anger. On the contrary, a stable emotion creates positive feelings, attracting people of similar emotional intelligence. The limitless effect of meditation has made more people adopt the practice.
A 2017 survey showed that ten times more people practice meditation in 2017 than in 2012. However, most people adopt the process because of its health benefits such as preventing insomnia, releasing stress, anxiety and depression. Beyond that, the practice has been made a compulsory activity by top companies to increase employees’ creative mindset.
Meditation opens you up to things you really didn’t realize about yourself. It brings more awareness about your strengths and relieves you of daily pressures that could affect your reactions to society.
If you spend time exploring your strengths in meditation, shifting attention and care to people around you, including those you can’t see, your emotions become stable. And you start attracting amazing people into your life.
Meeting new people can be fun. It can open you up to new career opportunities, release your stress and open you to new possibilities. Greatly exciting is attracting amazing people who’ll help your confidence and concentration (people who will challenge you to become a better version of yourself, people who make you feel at home). The numerous positives in being deliberate about people around you make it encouraging for you to adopt methods to attract them.
Focus on yourself and your targets. Nothing is more magnetic than success. Declare your intentions when it matters, improve your communication by adopting the process recommended. Focus on your appearance because it’s the first that creates an impression in the mind of the people you wish to attract.
Read a lot of books and stay informed about things around you, ignorance could be very costly, and it can deny you access to attracting the people you desire. Everyone admires an informed mind. The last tip is just as important as the first, meditate and change your internal environment. You’ll see it manifest in your relationships. These principles are effective in attracting amazing people. They will set you on course for wonderful relationships.