With the growing influence of social media affecting every sector of human relations, “Relationship Goals” is a topic that frequently appears on the discussion table. While most of the goals are often superfluous and unrealistic, everyone feeds their ego with an amazing sense of responsibility.
Everyone has relationship goals. The missing ingredient is the will to stay true to them amid rising personal pursuits, targets, and plans.
Relationship goals are a yardstick for measuring your influence on the strength of the relationship. It also creates an awareness of how you’ve contributed to the problems if you’re experiencing challenging moments in your relationships.
In creating a relationship, timing is a crucial ingredient. A false sense of timing makes the right people look wrong, and the best people look worse. Your readiness to engage in a relationship is the background for a successful relationship. The inability to cope with the demands on your time, attention, and resources is the reason relationships with bad timing fail woefully.
If you aren’t mentally ready for a relationship, sort that out before thinking about starting one. Now, if you’ve done that and you already have a stable relationship, you need to create relationship goals. You need to keep your relationship healthy with easy daily activities consciously.
Like every other goal, relationship goals have to be broken into daily activities and actions. Humans’ unique nature means you may have to read through this list properly to find the ones that will appeal more to your relationship.
Here are some relationship goals that you must work on:
1. Make your relationship a priority
If your relationship is not worth your attention, then it’s not worth going into it at all. Prioritizing your relationship is the most important relationship goal, and you must rank it at the top of your list.
The moment you said “Yes” to that offer, a huge number of things changed immediately. Your “yes” was an acceptance of integrating another consideration into your schedule.
You knew about your job, your plans, and your other commitments before getting involved. Since it is worth entering at all, it is worth your full commitment. Dedicate your time to your partner; avoid making excuses about a fixed schedule.
According to a 2015 survey conducted by “The Way We Are Now,” 50% of the respondents complained that their relationship was not considered a priority by the other partner. In your relationship goals, prioritizing your relationship should be the first thing on the list.
2. Conserve your independence
Two doesn’t have to become one. Let everyone remain one, with a life they had before the relationship began, and your relationship will flourish. At the top of your relationship goals should be the desire to ensure everyone lives their life the way they desire. Let your influence be as much as your partner wants from you. Don’t become too protective and let your partner lose their sense of privacy.
Face your personal life as much as you do before your relationship. Keep your friends and relatives as close as they were before the relationship began. Don’t sacrifice a relationship with friends for your partner, except the two come to a situation where you have to pick one.
Occasionally spend time out with friends to keep your connection with them. It appears it’s the best way to preserve your relationship.
Here are some reasons why conserving your independence should be included in your relationship goals.
• Conserving your independence is an effective way of fighting your fear and your sense of insecurity. You don’t want to be the person that jumps at your partner’s mobile phone or devices at every slight opportunity.
• Conserving your independence builds an aura of trust around you. If you include your independence in your relationship goals, you’re probably laying the foundation for a huge trust between you and your partner. Your independence means your relationship is not a burden on your shoulders. Rather, it is an opportunity to make you happy.
• Conserving your independence prevents excessive dependence on your other partner. Suppose your relationship means you have to ostracize yourself from your friends and associates. In that case, you should be prepared for a season of heavy dependence and reliability upon your partner. However, a healthy relationship is interdependent only to an appreciable extent.
• Conserving your independence protects your self-esteem. If you lose your sense of independence, there is a high chance your self-esteem suffers. You don’t want to feel isolated among your friends because you got into a relationship. Your relationship thrives better when both parties maintain their sense of independence.
Before you include your independence in your relationship goals, ensure you have a clear definition of who you are, what you enjoy, the people around you, and a clear knowledge of your schedule.
3. Commit yourself to acquire knowledge that promotes your relationship
If you’ve not included learning in your relationship goals, you have just massaged your ego about your relationship. The real truth is no one gets above the learning stage. Commit to reading books on relationships but never disregard the uniqueness of every relationship.
Research conducted by the Reading Agency found that reading increases empathy and improves relationships. Sadly, a Times survey showed that between 2003 to 2016, an average American’s devotion to reading for personal interest dropped from 0.36 hours to 0.28. Also, a survey by the National Endowment for Art found that 23% of American adults were light readers, that is, completing one to five books within a year. These statistics point to the fact that a drastically low number of people bother to read about relationships.
Normalize picking up a book with your partner and reading within a particular time frame. Find time to talk about things learned from every chapter after dinner. Avoid arguments over your perceptions and deductions from the book as that nullifies the purpose of reading the book. You may not necessarily present such a discussion in a very formal way to avoid a boring night. Be sensitive to the timing of such discussion to achieve its aim properly.
Interest is also a crucial factor in deciding whether you want to get involved in reading the book alone or would like to convince your partner to be involved. Avoid using force or manipulation to lure your partner into joining the activity. Interest preserves the purpose of such a discussion.
Knowledge of your partner’s schedule is also crucial to such activity if you wish to get your partner involved. If your partner has a fixed schedule, proposing such an offer may be a sign of a lack of empathy on your path. Commit yourself to your relationship by including reading time for your relationship in your relationship goals.
If your partner has no interest, create time to talk about the book and the knowledge you’ve acquired without necessarily sounding very formal or making her look stupid. Your consistency and commitment may change her opinion over time. Acquiring more knowledge about your relationship should be highly ranked on your relationship goals.
4. Be committed to effective communication.
Communication is the heart of every relationship. Poor communication often results in a bad, aggressive and negative relationship. Communication ranks highly on your relationship goals. It is a skill you learn deliberately while also being flexible enough to learn from experiences and mistakes.
Here are some of the signs of poor communication in your relationship
• Becoming very critical of your partner.
There is a thin line between honest assessment and criticism. The thin line is the manner of expression, choice of words, and body language. If you must give an honest assessment that appears to be evaluative, examine your intentions, whether it is to correct, to hurt, or just to display ego. One reason you need to include communication in your relationship goal is to manage the hard times effectively.
• Irrelevant arguments.
Though they may not appear to carry the disastrous effect they do, when irrelevant arguments often appear in a relationship, they are a symptom of a bigger problem — a poor communication skill on the partners’ part. Unnecessary arguments, that is, arguments that do not improve your relationship’s nature or never come to a general conclusion, are disastrous for your relationship. Approach every argument with the background that your relationship is worth more than a few minutes of ideological contradiction. Sacrificing your ego is a major part of the commitment you signed up for. Include the sacrifice in your relationship goals and be committed to it.
• Strange feelings of loneliness and isolations
If you find yourself in a relationship and still feel lonely, like there’s no one watching your back or giving you some emotional support, you’ve got a huge communication gap in your relationship. Your relationship goals must include getting better at filling the gaps in communication.
These three characters are a signpost to poor communication in a relationship. Normalize discussing communication problems with your partner when you observe communication gaps. Communication must be a priority in your relationship goals.
5. Adopt inclusive languages
If there is one thing your partner doesn’t like, it’s hearing you describe your goals and the spectacular way you wish to achieve them without acknowledging or talking about what role they will play. Your relationship goals are incomplete if your partner is often excluded from your goals or you show little concern about their targets and aspirations.
Occasionally replace the word “I” with “We.” Talk about your plans together and share your fantasies with your partner. It doesn’t matter how good you are. If you regularly exclude your partner from your aspirations, you’re sending a wrong signal to your partner.
While inclusive languages tend to create unnecessary pressures, especially if it’s a premarital relationship, be mindful of how often you use the word “We” in place of “I.” However, a sense of inclusion will strengthen your relationship.
Most especially, if trust is an issue in your relationship, use a more common term and show how much you’re willing to commit to the relationship. A unique goal like inclusiveness will transform your relationship.
6. Create memories
Memories are the most interesting part of every relationship. At least, it’s what every other person uses as a yardstick to assessing your relationships. Creating memories doesn’t matter whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert. There are several ways of creating memories in a relationship. Here are some of the ways to work surprises and create long term memories.
• Create a calendar of dates
There is no general formula about times for a date. It all depends on your schedule and engagements. A 2018 Survey from the U.S Census Bureau revealed that more people are staying single longer than ever. This is often down to the fact that more people are getting so engrossed with official responsibilities that they’re finding it difficult to create time to maintain relationships.
Create time alongside your partner to create a schedule for dates. Your choice could be weekly or monthly, depending on your daily engagements. Place and time are less important factors than the personal time that you have to spend alone.
Avoid bringing friends or family members, except there is an agreed decision to do that. Put down the dates in your calendar and treat them with the utmost importance. If you have to miss out, agree with your partner and make up for it with another surprise decision.
• Engage in sports and exercises together.
Create time for sporting activities and exercises together with your partner. Get involved in hiking, walking, and other exercises you enjoy. Again, interest is a crucial factor in creating memories.
• Create surprises with gifts.
If you’re involved in a long-distance relationship, your best shot at creating memories is sending gifts. It keeps your relationship fresh and strengthens your bond. If you’re involved in a short distance, you have more opportunities to identify your partner’s needs than you can afford. However, keep your gifts simple, natural, and unique. Try out different gifts, and make your relationship flourish. Include gifts in your relationship goals to create amazing momentum.
7. Adopt spirituality in your relationship
Practicing your faith with your partner is a less emphasized but effective approach to building a sustainable relationship. A report published by the American Psychological Association found that partners who pray for each other experience greater relationship commitment. The report also gave rise to a term called ” Relational spirituality.” It emphasizes how partners and couples can rely on spiritual beliefs and their faith’s tenets to transform their relationships.
More than any other factor, practicing religious principles together with your partner creates a strong sense of intimacy and security. Your relationship goals are incomplete if they do not include practicing your faith with your partner and creating a stronger bond.
Attend religious seminars with your partner to build your faith and intimacy, align your values and share similar principles that could prove to be the backbone of your relationship. Be deliberate about spirituality in your relationship and make it a priority in your relationship goals.
8. Improve your sex life
How important is sex to you, and how important is sex to your partner? If your answer to the two questions is not in alignment, then you need to find common ground.
Improving your romance skills and coming up with new surprises should occupy a space in your relationship goals. Though less talked about, the disappointment is expressed through body language. Sexual discontent is a topic that doesn’t frequently appear on the discussion table. However, it makes a negative impression on relationships.
A survey by the National Women’s Health Resource Center found that 59% of women report that a low sex drive negatively impacts their relationships. The survey also shows that 85% of women report that low sexual desire hurts intimacy levels with a partner. The survey also found that 66% of women report that low sexual desire also negatively impacts their relationship. Sex has more impact on your relationship than you think. You can only underestimate its effect at your peril.
Create room for improving your sexual desire and updating your romantic skills. This is one relationship goal your partner might not sit at the dinner table and talk about.
Relationships are dynamic. Whether it’s in an extremely healthy state where all seems to be working perfectly as planned or in a struggling state where you’re considering opting out of the relationship, one thing is inevitable. There’s always something to improve upon. You have areas you think you can improve upon to make your relationship better or areas you think your partner can improve on. The best way to make an impression on your partner is by improving yourself.
Begin the process of redefining your relationship with amazing relationship goals that reflect your aspiration to get things right. Include the suggested relationship goals or use them to create an effect on your designed relationship goals.
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