We all want to be with a charismatic person. They are the ones you meet for the first time at a hangout, and you want to call them as soon as you get home because the hangout would not be any fun without them. Charismatic people are the likeable, exciting, and friendly ones that leave you with a mind-blowing first impression. They are the charming characters that compel the attention of everyone in the room.
Now, did you know that being charismatic is not necessarily for a proven smart person? You can have a smart person in a room with just two persons, and they may struggle to command the room. Of course, being smart does help. However, Charisma is more than a string of cognitive actions. Again, being the quiet type does not mean you are not charismatic. Quiet people who are charismatic often prefer to use their charm rather than their words to influence others.
The Greek Origin of Charisma
A charismatic personality lights up the room and sweeps everyone off their feet. Here is a bit about the origin. Charisma is derived from the Greek verb charizesthai, which means to favor. In their effulgence of light, gift, or favor, they inspire others to achieve their goals. Sometimes, the word ‘inspire’ may not do justice to the illumination of a charismatic person. Charismatic people can also be very compelling when impacting people.
Charisma exerts some power on your name. It is a force that makes people like you even when they cannot tell what it is about you they like. If you are referred to among your friends as the life of the party, it shows your friends will almost always wait for you before going on with party plans. Being charismatic singles you out.
If you are the most charismatic, the chances are you will most likely be the first one to be remembered or even referred to as the group leader.
It is important to note that Charisma has suffered its fair share of misconception at this juncture. Many believe that it is an inherent attribute gotten at birth. This is true. However, what seems to be untrue about being charismatic is to think only a few persons were born with it. That is not true on many grounds. Firstly, everyone is born with an instinct to be charismatic. Secondly, being charismatic is learnable. These two points lay the foundation for many reasons why being charismatic is not for a selected few. Those who do not seem to exhibit it have only failed to tap their charisma potential.
Charismatic people are a product of choices made by them or their environment. For those who are not charismatic, the choice has not been made. Below are thirteen keys that you can choose from to improve your Charisma.
1. Be Present
To improve your Charisma, you have to stay tuned. Whomever it is you are trying to charm, or wherever you may be, being conscious and alert of your company and location sets you up to have a compelling conversation that describes being charismatic. You need to learn to show genuine interest in the people around you and what is going on. Your being present will open your eyes to things around that you can make comments about.
You can try this key out on yourself. Imagine if you were speaking to someone who is giggling at something happening behind you. Even if you did not mind that his/her attention was divided, you would want to pause once you perceive that s/he did not pick anything from what you have said. Such pauses are not suitable for a charismatic engagement. To improve your Charisma, you want the other person to feel accepted, prioritized, and essential. That is why being present and alert is important. As Robert Brault taught, “Charisma is not just saying hello. It’s dropping what you’re doing to say hello.”
If you are not present at an event, you would not be able to impact the event, except you are the speaker they are listening to over a video call. Hence, if you are at an event, learn to shun distractions and focus on where you are. One of the major distractions to being present is your phone. The constant chiming of the phone can constitute a lot of distraction. To deal with this, learn to put your phone on silent before walking into an event. This key is important because, without it, you will not be able to do the others. And this key, alongside others, is how you can improve your Charisma.
2. Practice Authenticity
The chances are that your audience is reading meanings to everything you do. For instance, in the first point, which talks about being present, if you keep staring at your phone, the person you were hoping to charm would feel less important than your phone. They may even feel you are disgusted by them, which may not be accurate. The same thing happens when you have a grin on your face, but you claim to be serious. Your word and action can be misconstrued and misinterpreted. This is not how to improve your Charisma.
If you want to improve your Charisma, you have to learn how to match words with your actions. Being charismatic also involves gaining people’s trust. And the only fact that can stand the test of time is the truth. Hence, you can improve your Charisma by speaking genuinely. Being genuinely truthful in your conversations gives you an impactful image.
Alongside the Authenticity, you might want to try some openness. Openness goes a long way in showing Charisma. It tells your audience that you trust them. Now, you have more room to improve your Charisma by being open with your dream. Making references to personal situations confirms a deep feeling of sincerity.
3. Be Confident and Hopeful
Many people have described Charisma as confidence. According to the behavioral investigator, Vanessa Van Edward, “Charisma is the perfect blend of warmth and confidence.” To top your genuine conversations, you have to learn some confident gestures as well. This is very important because confidence is attractive and charming. That is why quiet people can be charismatic. However, because they do not let off on their confidence, less Charisma is perceived from them. Confident people are perceived as hopeful, while hopeful people are perceived as helpful. To improve your Charisma, you might want to step up your positivity.
How can one be confident when one does not see hope? What then is it you are confident about? If all you see and talk about is gloom and pain, you will lose your audience. You will lose them to the thought that you are a sad, hopeless soul. And sad, hopeless souls are not at the forefront of inspiring others or being the life of anything; talk less of a party. Now, to improve your Charisma, you have to stop complaining. Avoid every negative conversation altogether. Being charismatic comes with compliments like “S/he is gracious.” You would not get such compliments by sounding hopeless in your discussions. By being hopeful, you would improve your Charisma.
4. Use Impactful Words
Charismatic people are very picky with their words. They intend to keep you fascinated and inspired by the very first sound that they produce. Even studies have shown that effective conversations make use of more concrete words than abstract languages. Hence, you want to include some impactful words and phrases in your vocabulary to improve your Charisma. A phrase such as “I feel your pain,” is more impactful than a phrase such as “I can relate to your viewpoint.”
An impactful word can change the mood in the room. With your words, you can connect to others’ emotions and appeal to their chief interest. Charismatic people know that filler words such as “umm” or “uuuh” can make a conversation very boring and less impactful, so they cut them out. You want to create a vivid picture with your words. And it is only crucial for you as an artist to show a good mastery of your medium. Therefore, to improve your Charisma, you have to learn the use of impactful words.
5. Give Good Compliments
To improve your Charisma, you must see compliments as verbal sunshine. And you know what is said about sunshine? It is referred to as the most precious gold on earth. Hence, every compliment makes your discussion glitter like gold. Everyone likes it when a good thing is said about them. Saying good things about people means you notice them.
While phrases like ‘your smile is nice,’ ‘I like your shoe,’ ‘I love your eyes,’ or ‘you look gorgeous may seem trivial,’ they go a long way. Having good words to compliment others with goes far in how you can improve your Charisma. And let the misconception that compliments are only for ladies be far from you. Both men and women appreciate a good word. Now, if your audience is a group, you can also give a group compliment.
6. Listen Thoroughly
Charismatic personalities seek to inspire their audience. And all audiences can be inspired in one of two ways. Firstly, you as a speaker can inspire your audience by convincing them about your preconceived notion. Now, it has nothing to do with whether they want it or not. Your being likeable can inspire them. But another approach to inspiring people is meeting their most excruciating needs. To know these needs, you should listen to them. By listening, you know that your audience has a message for you. This will help you improve your Charisma.
Now, you must also understand that listening can be done in two ways. You can either listen passively or listen actively. Active listening is the key to improve your Charisma. In active listening, you can remember what is being said, and you can respond to it accordingly.
7. Read Other People’s Emotions
Conventional listening is done with the ears. But you must learn to listen with the eyes as well. If you raise a topic your audience is not interested in, you can see it on their face and even in their reaction. That is their emotion popping out from beneath their tent. You can either make them feel convenient with the conversation by introducing humor, or you can swing into a different topic entirely. Hence, you have to learn how to read body language or facial expressions if you desire to improve your Charisma. Even your audience will be charmed as you respond appropriately to the signals they are giving.
8. Stimulate Questions When Conversing
Asking the right kind of question is very charismatic. When you practice active listening, you should also paraphrase what you have just heard or seen. Ask open-ended questions to send the message to your audience that you are listening to them. Questions are good for seeking clarity and finding common areas of interest. Knowing what questions to ask is vital if you want to improve your Charisma.
Sometimes you want to ask questions to judge if the audience understands you. You can also make your conversation more charismatic by engaging your audience with rhetorical questions. As you improve your Charisma, you have to know that not all question requires an answer to be charismatic. Some questions are just needed to make your audience think long and hard about what you have said. The mechanism of rhetorical mechanism can also be used to introduce humor.
9. Connect with Others Physically
The whole idea behind being charismatic is connecting to someone or a group. Your audience needs to feel some sort of synchronization happening with you. And there is no better way to do that than by getting physical about it. Physicality stimulates more comfort or emotion than the often-preferred word of mouth. To improve your Charisma through connecting with others physically, you can start by making eye contact.
Eye contact is a display of confidence (which has been talked about before.) Alongside sustained eye contact, you may also want to master a popular language to improve your Charisma. The language is body language. For instance, keeping your body turned towards the person you are addressing aids being charismatic. Sometimes the physical contact is a firm or warm handshake. Some other times it is just the smile or other facial expression. If you are sitting or standing, then your posture goes a long way too.
Not to overstep, you may have to ask the person first if they are convenient with physical contact. A simple “Would you like a hug?” or “May I hold your hand?” shows Charisma. You can be sure that even a gentle touch goes a very long way in connecting with people once permission is granted. Usually, a soft touch on the hand or shoulder during a conversation helps you dominate the discussion. By mastering this key, you can improve your Charisma.
10. Relate on First Name Bases
This point requires listening. You have to listen to remember every little detail, especially the name. Names communicate a deep sense of comfort and convenience. Details such as names provide you with a conversation starter in subsequent meetings. Also, calling out a person’s name makes them feel important. You can master a person’s name by recalling the person’s name later in the conversation. Hence, to improve your Charisma, you must relate with people well on a first-name basis.
11. Tell a Story
To improve your Charisma, you might want to introduce the elements of storytelling. Everyone has a story, but other people’s story is just as captivating. And to maximize the charismatic skill, you have to express yourself in relatable words. You can even use a short story as a form of illustration. Now, put your audience at the center of your story. This will ultimately help the audience create a vivid picture of your story, especially how it relates to him/her. This is how you can capture the heart of an audience.
12. Look It
First impressions often last the longest. Unfortunately, good looks are often pushed to the back of the line, but they are vital to your Charisma. If you want to improve your Charisma, you should improve your looks as well. Physical appearance is important because when we look good, we feel good. Even good looks and style are highly charismatic. Your dress tells your audience you have what it takes to inspire them. To make a compelling choice of style, you may want all the details you can lay your hands on about the event you are attending. That way, you can dress well for the occasion.
13. Dynamic Practices
Always feel free to introduce an element of surprise in a conversation. We have talked about questions, stories, and compliments. All these can be used as an element of surprise that catches your audience’s attention. By learning to show some level of dynamism, you can improve your Charisma.
The other day I saw a quote. It reads, “The reason it bothers you that people do not like you is that you’re not sure you like yourself.” This is the reason why many people seem to be shrinking in their charismatic potential. To improve your Charisma, it helps to be passionate about yourself. You have to be passionate about your growth. And your growth will include your health, your use of language, the things you know, and so on. Sometimes, what you charm people with is what you have made of yourself.
After a considerable investment of passion in yourself, following all the keys above becomes easy. For instance, you can “Be present” if you have a well-structured schedule that allows you to be where you want to be. With the passion you have invested in yourself, you can be passionate about others and improve your Charisma. Passionate growth helps you have a good understanding of people. This way, you can use humor when it is right. By being passionate about yourself and improving your Charisma, you would be able to improve your Charisma.
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